You know how much it hurts being unable to do anything?

Life :D

Haha heya people!

How's the hols so far? Haha.... Mine is... Fine yet sucky....

Haha.... Let's talk about today...

Well... Went to Botanic Gardens today... For a family outing yeah? Haha.... Seriously, I'm wondering what the humans are doing luh.... I mean. It's a Botanic GARDEN. Shouldn't it be more natural? So artificial.... Like all the leaves swept to a nice little pile for em to decompose. It's like, so artificial.... Sigh.... Humans...

You know, sometimes, I feel really helpless/hopeless? Its like, I wanna do something for Earth, do something for maybe Japan or something, counter animal abuse/global warming? I mean, I don't get why others, are like so self-centered... Come on.... Mother Earth is DYING. Zzz.

Ah well.... You know what I rather have for a family outing? Some talking would do.... Sitting by the coffee table, talking about crap, that would be the best yea know? Or going as a family watching the sunset or something... Not going ta some bullshit place like botanic gardens.... Sigh...

You know, holidays are times where one should spend time thinking yeah? There questions I've been dying ta know, questions I wanna answer. So many things yeah? Sigh.... What I wanna do when I grow up, what I wanna accomplish in life, whether I this shit I'm doing is worth it, whether I'm really relying too much on technology. And the answer ta this question, what does my heart exactly want? Sigh....

You know, I just feel like writing all these into a song yea know? Express everything inside and start singing my heart out... And I would be glad, if I have people my age, that actually care about me yea know? Sigh.... And then there's the shit about biting more than I can chew.... There's the band, there's the song thing, there's school, and there's friends and family, I'm not sure if I can actually live through this crap yeah?

Just got into a quarrel with my dad.... Sigh...

Hey, slow it down whataya want from me 
Whataya want from me 
Yeah I'm afraid whataya want from me 
Whataya want from me 

There might have been a time 
When I would give myself away 
Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn 
But now, here we are so whataya want from me 
Whataya want from me 

Just don't give up I'm workin it out 
Please don't give in, I won't let you down 
It messed me up, need a second to breathe 
Just keep coming around 
Hey, whataya want from me 
Whataya want from me 
Whataya want from me 

Yeah, it's plain to see (plain to see) 
that baby you're beautiful 
And there's nothing wrong with you 
(nothing wrong with you) 
It's me, I'm a freak (yeah) 
but thanks for lovin' me 
Cause you're doing it perfectly 
(it perfectly) 

There might have been a time 
When I would let you slip away 
I wouldn't even try 
But I think you could save my life 


Just don't give up I'm workin' it out 
Please don't give in, I won't let you down 
It messed me up, need a second to breathe 
Just keep comin around 
Hey, whataya want from me (Whataya want from me) 
Whataya want from me (Whataya want from me) 

Just don't give up on me 
(uuuuuuh) I won't let you down 
No, I won't let you down 

(So hey) just don't give up 
I'm workin it out 
Please don't give in, 
I won't let you down 
It messed me up (It messed me up) 
Need a second to breathe 
Just keep coming around 
Hey, whataya want from me 

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out 
Please don't give in, i won't let you down 
It messed me up, need a second to breathe 
Just keep coming around 
Hey, whataya want from me (whataya want from me) 
whataya want from me (whataya want from me) 
whataya want from me

Guess that pretty much summarises everything.... What do you want from me? What do I want from myself? idk.... Seriously.

Biting of more than I can chew~

Signing off folks~

Till next time~

Life :D

Haha heya people :D I'm back XD


Haha.... Wondering why I posted all of a sudden? Haha.... Cause I got chased by *ahem* XP


Now here you have it, I'm posting.... :P


Okok.... 
FINALLY. WE GET TO REST FOR A WEEK :D:D:D
Yeah... Haha.... Finally.... We're test-free. XD Haha....


Yesterday was house carnival.... Kinda fun yeah? Haha..... Tagball.... Played 2 matches... Haha we kenna pwned by fleming... 7-1. Didn't even get a chance to hold the ball DX Well... We kinda gave it away too.... Cause all our better people didn't play.... NVM. At least we got 2nd :D Haha.


WTH luh. Valerie and David damn cheapo nia... Spamming the pea game again and again and again and again and again. LOL. Went to play the table tennis juggling ball thingy... Joined PY and Jace for the mad scientist lab station.... Haha.... And I suppose, we jumped queue? Oops :P Joined TH together with MJ and WH. LOL. They were suaning the people there. Ah well... Not bad luh.... Especially the mask stalking one. XD


Yeah.... Pretty much it.... Haha.... Celebrated Carilynne's birthday later.... Haha... The usual cake and stuff.... And yeah... Walked with the gang to sumo house.... Left em later.... Haha...
Rather, I just wanna be left alone luh.... Don't wanna go with a large group and yeah. Pfffft. Personal reasons too. lol. Wonder if they would understand, that sometimes, whites just needa be left alone....
Finally..... I day that I feel stress free :D Haha.... Pretty much slacked the entire day today XP. Haha.... Just finished exercising.... My whole body aches X.x Haha XD


Well.... I don't think I'm gonna slack the entire holidays right? So yeah... Here's a list on what I'm gonna TRY to finish....


Complete me song cover I'm working on....
Start exercising.... *I'm gonna pull up me class's nafa average :D*
Touch up on my maths, physics and chemistry DX
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY. the band. LOL.


LINKIN PARK'S COMING TO SINGAPORE :D


Haha..... That's about it peeps. See ya :D

Life :D

Haha heya people :D


Haha.... Been long since I updated? LOL.
Anyway... March is by far the busiest so far? Tests etc. And so many birthdays to keep track off. LOL. Anyway, Happy Birthday Woo Jin! :D


Anyways, today was quite average study-wise... Usual state of feeling tired... Gosh I really should sleep early.... But heck there's a chem test tomorrow! DX




Ah well... Emotions-wise. Haha. One big piece of crap waiting for me.... Let's start from the beginning.... Really, people with white personalities.... You don't wanna piss em off.... Cause really, if they are pissed, good luck :D Been waiting for Mr Cheong to finally blow up at the level.... And what happened today during assembly? Pfffft. They so deserved it....




Ah well.... Sigh.... You wanna know where at least half of my emo-ness come from? From people all around.... Is it just me? Cause I always find myself trying to help.... And those that I care the most, either I can't help, or they dao. Zzzz..... It feels damn bad luh... Sigh... And yeah, I ain't gonna mention names, so even if you ask me, no way I'm answering. lol.




Talent search is tomorrow too.... Feeling worse than a jellyfish yeah? Sigh.... Wondering where was the confidence I had like a week ago? Zzz....


FYI. Ranting ahead. So yeah.... Kindly Ctrl + W, or Alt + F4




And I can't take it yeah? So much vulgarities going around.... *Though I do say em when I'm real tense DX* Really. I should bring some soap someday and shove em to their mouths yeah? Shouting like its no one's beeswax. Wth yeah?
Haha.... I don't know what got into you? But heck. You are really becoming a reeeeaaaalll female dog. No offense but really, Do some self reflection someday. Pffffft. Wonder what got into me last year. Or have you changed? Only time will tell.... And screw I don't wanna have anything to do with you. Pffffft. IF you don't want people to eavesdrop. THEN SHUT YOUR TRAP. PFFFFFFT.
Haha.... And seriously. There's just one more person..... Seriously. Get it right. Between an infatuation and love. Pffffft. You think I'm jealous or something? I think not! PFFFFFT. Get a life yeah? Claiming you wanna protect her and stuff. But seriously, ever heard of privacy in group projects? Ever heard of it? I think not. Seriously. Get. A. Life.


Well.... Guess I'm slightly better after ranting? And no I ain't gonna mention names, so yeah....


Till next time folks :)
Bye~

Life :D

MS NG IS COMING BACK!! :D:D:D:D:D
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HAPPAY I AM YEAH? FINALLY :D lol. Must be the cookies I ate :P Made me so high. XD


Haha... Ok if you're lost, well.... Just came back from fixing up Ms Ng's welcome card and baking cookies for her and the class :D Haha.... She's been away for 4 months yeah? Dang I miss her mentoring and stuff.... Cause I feel that Miss Lim get the class going the way she wants, no offences but yeah.... Now she's leaving us with a bad impression. DX Ah well. Guess that's life :)


Anyway back to the topic. Haha.... First time baking cookies :D Damn fun can? Haha.... Jacelyn, Delvin and I were like gobbling up raw dough 8D Oops~ XD Maybe that's why my stomach is hurting Oops. XP


Yeah.... My hands are itching to play table-tennis DX AH WELL. I'm addicted to two things. Music. And Table-Tennis. Haha....Take one away = Me GG. Haha random~~


Speaking of which, CORE is up and coming yeah? Haha.... Band practice yesterday :D Wheee~~~ We improved on numb :D David added somemore improvisation to his drums *i think* And I improved on me background singing and piano synchronization :D Well... Valerie's vocals are pro. Damn pro can? Lisa's guitar has better accuracy. 


TALENT SEARCH YOU WATCH OUT.
Though I think we'll GG.DX


Ah well. LOL. Anyway, yesterday, had fun too :D Nerf Guns :D Haha... I LOVE THAT SNIPER. XD Ah well.... Finished up the banner.... At the end, all that helped, were caught red-handed decorating. Geddit? RED-handed? 8D *Ouch... Cold eh? XD* Yeah... Our hands were red. *Looks at Valerie* *Ahem* Someone said they were wash-able? LOL.


Haha.... Meh. Just had a very scary, and weird REM sleep dream. Dang... I'm still emo-ing over it luh.... What if it really happens? I won't be able to take it... So much about having mental strength... Guess everyone has their weakness eh? I really can't bare to think about it yeah? Sigh...... If it really happens, what will happen to me? Can I get back up? It's not a matter of if, its a matter of when.... Meh.... Guess it's part and parcel of life eh? You don't know how glad I was waking up from the dream..... DX


And there's that screwed up part of me.... Meh. One tells me to let go. The other tells me to go for it. AHHHHH. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY YEAH? Zzz.... Sigh.... Guess I shall let it have time to chill eh? Sigh.... I wanna know what I'm actually thinking about yeah? Sigh.... Hopefully.... By next month... Everything will finally settle.....


Sigh.... I hate staying at a corner, and watch my best friends. Those I treasure the most, get their butt kicked by life yeah? I wanna help... I'm trying to..... But heck why can't I get things right? Meh. It's more like I'm adding fuel to fire? Idk yeah? I really want to help.... Let me help.... Or maybe I don't know you well enough? And no relax Hansel.... It's not you. LOL.


Haha ok.... Signing off.....
Cya folks...


P.S. Kudos if you got the secret not so hidden message XP

LONGGGG TIME~

HEYA PEOPLE. I BET YOU MISSED ME! XD
But seriously. It has been a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONNGGG time since I posted. Haha.....


Year 2 is really busy compared to last year hmm? Finally had time to post :D Haha....


Let's talk about year 2 life hmm? Wow. This year, there's a lot more stuff to do.... More projects, more complicated stuff. Sigh.... I don't know how long and can hold.... I'm feeling the heat, and my fingers can't hold me on that ledge forever right? I can't even find time to play my piano D:


Sigh... Getting more and more screwed. Maths, Chem, IH, are like getting harder to cope with.... DX I'm SOOOOO lucky physics this time is what I like. Heat transfer and stuff. Yeah......


I really don't know how long I can hold.... And being a mentor rep. and stuff. And a CCA captain for C div. I really don't know how long I can hold onto this yeah. The stress and all, is insane yeah? Ah well. We'll see how it goes.




Sigh. And there are those relationships, friendships and stuff. Now I realised, friends are so much more important. Especially at this stage. It's just so hard to find a friend that you can trust. Those that I trusted, all gave them away. Except that minority two..... Always supporting.


Sigh.... You can't have the best of both worlds eh? One is older, and equally messed up like me. Or worse I can say. And the other is like, sotong? O.o LOL. Ah well. Now I feel, that it's so much easier to get along with girls than guys. The guys in my class are like. Uber immature. Gosh. Don't they know when to play, and when to be serious? Sigh.


Speaking of which. I don't get it, why do people in our class hate Ms Lim so much? She's damn nice you know? It's just that, you people don't give her a chance. Have you ever heard the noise level our class makes? If Ms Ng were to be there, she would do the same! I admit it, her speech isn't so clear, but does it give you people that right to go against her and all?


SHE'S OUR TEACHER FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.
I really don't get it. Sigh.... Maybe because I'm white? That I'm taking her side? The flaw everyone has, is that they can't seem to put themselves into other's shoes, or view the situation from a 3rd person view. I hate it yeah? Pisses me off big time yeah?




Sigh. You know why I hate being a leader? Cause it brings too much attention, and stress to oneself. A bit of attention is good. BUT HECK. I HATE BEING THE CENTER OF ATTRACTION.
And whenever something goes wrong? All fingers point at me. What is this man.... Maybe thats part and parcel of life? I don't know......




With the exception of those two mentioned above, at this point, not even I can trust my so called 'friends'. Heh. So contradicting. Do you let out other's secrets, because you played TOT?
I TRUSTED YOU. I. TRUSTED. YOU.
AND WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU DON'T DESERVE MY TRUST HMM?
Heh. Bunch of bullshit. Pffft.


And everyone changed during the holidays. Even her. Sigh. You became so, yellow all of a sudden. I don't know what happened, but you became so high, so over-reacting, so attention seeking, so rash all of a sudden. I'm wondering, where was the girl I know? Well, it could be that I'm finding excuses, but even others also agree. Sigh.... And worse of all. You assume. Pffffft. Did I mention I hate assumers big time? I try to hide it, but damn I really hate assumers. *Though I find myself assuming sometimes. DX* Sigh. I can't feel you there anymore. Maybe this is where it all ends? Ah well. 


Haha.... On a lighter note,


DAMN 203 IS AWESOME. LIKE BIG TIME :D XD.
Haha.....


Signing off~ :D

Life for now....

Heya people~ I'm BACKKKKK~~ Missed me? :P
Haha.... For today I'm just gonna highlight recent events that I feel is important yeah? Ok....

Just came back from Table-Tennis Zonals.....

WE PWNED UNITY 4-1 :D
But that's just the good news....
Now the bad news.... We could've gotten a medal..... Sigh.... If only we hadn't over-estimated our opponent River Valley.... Line-ed up our people wrongly..... Apparently Me and Shi Jer ended up playing doubles... And we lost....
Meh. We could've won luh.... If not for my misjudgement. Sigh.... You know how bad it feels? Sigh..... So close yet so far....
If I had sticked with the original plan of the usual line-up.... Meh so screwed....


It's so hard being a Captain. It really ain't easy.....

And I can't really keep up with the stress I'm dealing with.... There's homework, projects, zonals, those leadership and decision making stuff..... Somehow I feel that I really lack in confidence luh....
Meh. I know the problem. Just can't seem ta solve it.....Sigh....

I dislike people, that just can't seem to face the reality yeah? Always seem ta find reasons to squirm out of the problem. It's staring at you in the face and yet, why can't you accept it? Gosh. You know its gonna damage everyone around you with that mindset of yours? I wanna help you change. But you aren't allowing us ta help.... Sigh. I won't be surprised if your problem gets really out of hand....


Yeah.... Sigh.... And there's still my feelings? It's just so hard deciding... It has been like this since I was 3? Always struggling at making decisions.... I would rather people throw be random ideas, and I choose the best that will benefit us the most luh....

Sigh she's changed hmm? So much more attention seeking.... Last year she was kinda emo... Keeping to herself? Not opening as much? But now its like suddenly, become so attention seeking? So enthu? Or rather too enthu for comfort. And then suddenly, will become serious when she has to. You know how scary it is? Its like split personality.... And to me, just makes me disgusted or something? Maybe I'm being retarded? Maybe I'm just finding excuses? I don't know hmm? For now, I just can't seem to adapt to the sudden change.... Sigh.....


Guess I'll let it rest through the CNY... See what will happen.... Many things really happen through the holidays.... Sigh.... And I don't know if I would fall into another or something? Maybe all I need is rest? Or to sort things out? Or leave it? Sigh I really don't know..... Meh.




Am I going to use the double-edged sword of falling into another one? I don't know.... Maybe only time can decide that....
Ok that's all for now...
Cya folks~ :)